The Girl

She is born into a disgusting world,
With people who have hard, harsh hearts.
They’ve called her names all her life,
As if it’s all a cruel game.
Shame is the name of her game.

Fat, ugly, good-for-nothing,
Loner, weirdo, poor;
This is her identity,
And she believes it.

Her teen years come,
And the girls are brutal,
The boys often worse

A stoic at school,
She constructs a brick wall around her heart,
Around her mind,
Around her life.

It is a thick wall,
For it needs to withstand blow,
After blow,
After blow,
After blow.

That is, until she returns home.

The bricks crumble,
And she hides in her bedroom,
In the corner,
Cowering,
A waterfall of tears
Streaming down her face.

Her pillow is saturated with tears;
Years of weeping have stained it.
This pillow is the only witness to her pain.

Her arms are now the victims,
And her razor blades are the abusers.

She slices her arms
Day after day
To numb the emotional pain;
The physical is much easier to deal with,
She is in control,
Not the others.

She enters the restroom after meals,
Turns on the faucet to make some noise,
And watches the contents of her stomach
Empty into the toilet.
She is determined to be thin;
Maybe they’ll like her then.

Still, they are cruel as ever.

She has to do something
To make them all like her,
To make them think she is worth something,
To make them stop,
To make the pain go away,
Or at least suppress it.

Maybe she’ll be accepted
When she is uninhibited.

Bottle after bottle after bottle,
She makes herself available
To any man that will take her,
And make her feel loved

Instead of feeling loved,
She feels lost,
Damaged,
Tainted,
Broken.
When will it end?
Will it ever end?

Yes.
It ends today.

It is a new day,
Very different than the rest,
But she doesn’t notice.
At first.

Walking to school as usual,
She sees him from afar,
But her wall’s not built yet.

He stops in his tracks;
He looks her way,
And begins to walk toward her.

She stops,
Looks,
Trembles,
Looks again,
And feels at ease
For the first time
Ever.

She stops building her wall,
And instead,
Deconstructs her protection.

With no wall around her heart,
Around her mind,
Around her life,
She’s vulnerable,
But she feels safe.

His eyes are kind,
His gait is intentional,
But not threatening.

A smile stretches across his face
As he stands inches away from hers.

He leans over,
And gently whispers,
“You’re beautiful.”

Immediately,
She gasps for air,
Her cheeks redden,
And her legs nearly give out
At the sound of the foreign words.

Her eyes begin to water,
Her spirit begins to fill,
The pieces of her heart find one another.

She believes him.

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